Choosing to be a Single Mother…Choice or Consequence ?

Test tube baby 1

My husband passed on this gem of an article as he knew it would get my blood boiling….he loves to tease me. In the July 5th edition of the Charlotte Observer, Leigh Dyer write about a woman who used a sperm bank to have a baby on her own. The woman’s 7-year marriage ended in divorce and without children.  She says she gave herself until age 38 to find the “one” and if at 38 he hadn’t appeared, she would turn to a sperm bank.

Well, what about her first husband….how do you go 7 years and not have a child (assuming you’re able to biologically).  She doesn’t address her role in the divorce but instead jumps right into how she setting a trend along with Hollywood stars like Tina Fey, Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Aniston starring in movies as women in similar situations.  She says,

“Some critics say single moms like me are selfish for depriving their children of fathers.  I’ve done the research, and I’m confident that the quality of parenting is more important than the quantity of parents.”

Really ?  In a study published this July by Marquardt, Glenn and Clark titled “My Daddy’s Name is Donor: A New Study of Young Adults Conceived Through Sperm Donation, one of the major findings is that

“Donor offspring are significantly more likely than those raised by their biological parents to struggle with serious negative outcomes such as delinquency, substance abuse, and depression even when controlling for socio-economic and other factors.”

Another popular and now wealthy woman Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love (now playing in theaters starring Julia Roberts) takes little responsibility for the failure of her first marriage.  Gilbert, like the sperm recipient above, had no children from her first marriage.   And in her recent book Committed, she says she has “chosen” not to have children.  There is much red meat in Gilbert’s books that I’m certain to write about in future blogs yet I digress.

The shared story between these two women are their divorces and thus lack of success with traditional marriage.  As a result of their divorces, they lean into the wind of the feminist agenda of “female power.”  It is a sad kind of female power that leaves the former to be rooting around Spermcenter.com sorting through IQ and hair color for the father of her child and the latter Ms. Gilbert who marries her second husband, chronicled in her latest book Committed, only because he was deported from the U.S.

If I were to write a book, perhaps the title would be, “Having your Cake and Eating Your Children.”  You can’t have it both ways as a woman….to have the killer career, someone or everyone must be outsourced….husband and children.  You have to partially outsource your role as wife and mother to please your boss.  Thus, daycare, after school care, Applebees-to-Go, expensive toys and clothing for the children, and vacations with the husband.

I can’t believe that women want to be implanted with anonymous sperm and at age 80 be surrounded by cats instead of grandchildren.  American women, have you gone mad ?